Elder Life Crisis

Myths & Realities of The Golden Years

About This Site | (Re)Defining The Golden Years | The Search for Elder Wisdom

Wisdom from Lord deVere

About This Site

My name is Pat Gaudette and I am the founder of The Midlife Club. Midlife crisis is a game changer for many men and women when they enter middle age, around their 40th birthday. I established the Midlife Club in 1998 to provide support for people in crisis as well as those dealing with the crisis of a husband, wife, or significant other. Since that time, more than 100,000 people have registered for the forum and while most have transitioned through, a core group remains to provide support for newcomers to the site.

Recently, a young woman requested membership to the forum because she said her 65-year-old father was “having a midlife crisis” and she needed to know how to deal with it. She said he was stressed, snappy with his wife and family, and his erratic actions were causing problems within the family. When I declined her membership request and suggested she seek a forum that focused on aging issues, she insisted that everything written about midlife crisis fit her father’s actions.

This was my response:

I understand why you think of midlife crisis but at 65 he is now at an age where he is getting the senior discounts, Medicare, Social Security, AARP discounts and would be called “an elderly man” in the news. He may be stressed about facing the big void ahead. He may not see any future for himself. He needs to feel enthused about his current age but that’s not easy to do. He may feel useless.

If he could find a hobby or activity to get enthusiastic about, where he feels that he is making a contribution and his efforts are appreciated, his mood might get better.

Just my opinion but being elderly is a downer for many people.

After I sent that response, I searched for information that might have helped her and her father. What I found were sites about elder abuse in nursing homes and books for caregivers of elderly parents who were no longer able to care for themselves. Clearly, this didn’t fit her father’s situation. Nor did it fit the majority of people 65 and over who now have moved from middle age into the elder years.

So, this site is designed to provide information for those of us who, on our 65th birthday, moved from middle age into elder age.

While some people won’t have an issue with turning 65, others of us will. I did and continue to have problems with the definitions thrust upon anyone 65 and over. Middle age is just that… the middle of our life. I don’t like the reality of elder life being the last phase. But it is what it is and worrying about it won’t change anything, it just wastes whatever time we have left.

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